InsaneJournal

005// oldest profession blah blah shut up
Like so many of us, I have officially completely had it with ball talk. But since there's still two weeks to go and absolutely nothing short of cement that will shut you lot up about it, I figure the best thing to do is try and channel some of this into a little bit of good work.

So I'm auctioning myself for charity. Yes, for sale to the highest bidder: me, going with you to the Yule Ball.

There are no gender, age, or even quantity restrictions to bidders. If you and three friends want to go equal shares, more power to you. Note that the contract of sale includes accompanying only: I will arrive with you and spend at least half of the evening in your relatively immediate vicinity, but all further instances of talking, dancing or other activities will be considered on their merits in situ.

All proceeds will go to Oxfam's Unwrapped charity, whereby useful things like clean water, livestock and other resources are purchased for people in needy areas around the world. If you wish to simply make a donation to this worthy charity in this traditional period of goodwill towards men (and women), I will gladly add that to the pot. In fact, if you want to join the fun and auction yourself as well, we could start to get into raising a significant amount here and maybe give an impoverished village a cow or even a camel.

Bidding opens right now and will take place in this journal entry. All bids must be unwarded. Bidding will close, and the highest bidder win, at 11:59 on Sunday night. All bids will be considered intentional and welchers will be dressed down in as public a forum as I can find. Since it's going to charity, cash only; all bids in galleons, though I'm happy to accept equivalent payment in pounds.

Edited to add: Also up for auction: Rose Weasley; Dominique Weasley; Amelia Longbottom; Harlan Macmillan; Cora Finnigan! (So make sure you mention who you're bidding for!)